"Do we really need to talk about that?” “I've already let go of my past, so there's no need to go there." "What does that story from childhood have to do with my current situation?" These are common responses from clients when I’ve encouraged them to explore a painful memory or a negative childhood experience. These are valid responses.
Easter is my favorite holiday. For many people, Easter conjures up images of bunnies, egg hunts, or an excuse to hand out one of life’s greatest joys – chocolate. While all of these things may indeed bring delight, they are not what makes this season the source of our greatest joy. Easter is about the story of life’s first hope, which cannot happen apart from the dark reality of death.
We are delighted to welcome Madeline to our team of counselors at Redeemer. Madeline will be seeing clients at the Downtown Orlando office. If you're interested in scheduling an appointment with her, please contact our office at 407-405-7677.
I’m originally from Dallas Fort Worth, TX. I lived in Memphis, TN for three years after college working for a college ministry, and moved to Orlando, FL three years ago to pursue my Masters in Counseling at Reformed Theological Seminary. I got married last year right after graduation and just celebrated our first anniversary this past May! I’m introverted but can come across as an extrovert. I’ve been described as passionate, intense, but also goofy and warm!
Dogs for sure! I have two puppers at home that are wonderful.
Chocolate! I especially love sea salt caramel chocolate, or spicy chocolate.
Definitely a night owl. Mornings can be a struggle but I’m learning to appreciate quiet mornings.
I worked on staff with Campus Outreach for three years in Memphis, TN. I was the regional financial coordinator, but also got to plan events, and meet with staff and students. I also was part of a ministry that worked to serve forgeign exchange students from all over the world attending the University of Memphis. I absolutely loved getting to know these students and helping them get acclimated and connected in the States!
Like I mentioned earlier, I love finding food or coffee spots in any new city I’m in! I love the environment and experience these shops offer. I also love exploring the outdoors, movie nights with family and friends, good Mexican food, painting with watercolor, horseback riding (on rare occasions), deep conversations with friends and chilling on the couch with loved ones!
I am most passionate about walking with people as they become “alive” again and experience who they were created to be and what they are created for. Trauma can feel like death in so many ways, and can make you feel alone, hopeless and stuck. One of the most important things for me as a counselor is to offer the hope of something better! It's also very important to me to provide a steady, safe and compassionate place for this exploration and transformation.
I love working with all kinds of people from different walks of life. Given my experiences as a hispanic woman and a former ministry staff, I am especially passionate about anyone in ministry or struggling with spirituality, and those experiencing minority stress and trauma. I also have a special heart for those struggling with anxiety, as that is something I have personally wrestled with.
I want to first say that counseling takes great courage and commitment to start! If you are considering counseling or are in the process of seeking counseling, then you have taken an enormous step that deserves recognition! When I first started counseling, I remember feeling that my struggles and pain were not “bad enough” to deserve counseling, which left me feeling alone and stuck for so long. When I decided to go to counseling, I saw that counseling was just as much for me as it is for someone else, and that it is helpful for a variety of different struggles. I didn’t have to prove my pain was worthy of help - the fact that I was experiencing it was qualifying enough for me to seek and receive help. I would say to someone struggling with similar thoughts, that you qualify for counseling simply because you are a human being who is asking for help!
Secondly, I would say finding the right counselor is similar to dating. Counseling is a partnership in many ways that requires trust, honesty and safety. It may take time to find the right fit of someone you feel comfortable with and trust, and it may take some time before you feel comfortable with a counselor. But don’t give up! It is worth the search to find someone who you can partner with to bring freedom and transformation in your life.
Kat joined the Redeemer Team this summer, and we are so excited to have her on board! She is accepting new clients at our downtown office. If you are interested in scheduling, please call 407-405-7677 or email Kat directly to request more information.
By Kat Wilkins
(Information for this post paraphrased or quoted from The Polyvagal Theory in Therapy: Engaging the Rhythm of Regulation by Deb Dana). To download a PDF guide to the Personal Profile Map Exercise click here.
In this post, you'll learn a bit about Polyvagal Theory (the science of how we feel safe in relationships and environments), and learn how to "map" your own nervous system. The aim of this exercise is to provide new awareness of what your system is sensing around you, and how that impacts your ability to connect safely to yourself, your environment, and others around you.
Polyvagal Theory was founded by Dr. Stephen Porges in the late 1960s. Deb Dana is largely responsible for bringing its application to the therapy context, and in her book The Polyvagal Theory in Therapy, Dana describes Polyvagal Theory (PVT) as "the science of safety": "the science of feeling safe enough to fall in love with life and take the risks of living. Polyvagal Theory provides a physiological and psychological understanding of how and why clients move through a continual cycle of mobilization, disconnection, and engagement." (emphasis mine). (p.xvii)
Hierarchy (aka the "ladder") - the autonomic nervous system responds to external/internal stimuli through three biological pathways, in a particular order, and is commonly demonstrated with a ladder image, as shown above. These three pathways are the dorsal vagus (immobilization), the sympathetic nervous system (mobilization), and the ventral vagus (social engagement and connection) (Dana, 4).
Neuroception (aka "magic antennae") - the term "neuroception" was coined by Stephen Porges, and refers to the ways our nervous system responds to safety cues and danger cues. It's like having magic antennae that are constantly scanning (6 times per second, actually) your "inside, outside, and between" (inside your body, the environment outside your body, and what's happening between you and other people). Different from perception, neuroception occurs deep underneath the conscious level of awareness. (Dana, 4).
Coregulation - This describes the process by which a nervous system is reciprocally regulated (brought back to "safety") in the presence of a safe "other" (caregiver, parent, etc). PVT sees co-regulation as an imperative in a person's ability to sustain life through being enabled to move into safe relationships and meaningful connections. (Dana, 4).
Warning: Since this map includes specifics about your own nervous system states and responses, it is common for this to be a disruptive activity at times. I highly recommend doing this exercise with a trusted friend or therapist - but however you do it, please take some time to tune in to how you're doing. I strongly encourage you to take breaks as needed.
Now that we've covered the basics of Polyvagal Theory, let's consider an exercise of creating your own "personal profile map." When I do this with clients, I call it "mapping your nervous system."
It may be helpful to do some grounding for your system before you begin.
Let me invite you to take a deep breath in through your nose.
Hold that breath in for a few seconds.
Then, slowly exhale through your mouth.
Repeat as needed. (Feel free to skip any of this - you're in charge of your own body and how you move through this experience).
What we're attempting to do when we "regulate" or "ground" is to provide your system with as many safety cues as possible, as well as bringing your attention toward noticing those safety cues, and allowing your system to respond.
I invite you to take a few deep breaths before you begin. Take a moment to notice your breathing. Notice what the air feels like going in through your nostrils - notice the temperature.
Look around you in the space you're sitting in, and name out loud 5 items plus their color.
"The lamp is gold. There is a purple book next to me. The plant is green and brown. My shoes are gray. My chair is black."
When or if you're ready to move forward, let's begin.
Take a moment to draw a ladder like the one above, with 3 spaces. This is your nervous system map. As you move through the steps, feel free to be as creative as you want. You can write or draw with a pen or pencil, but I recommend that you use colored markers, as colors can evoke emotion and stimulate your system in a way that can add depth of meaning to the exercise.
As we cover each of the three spaces (in the order listed below), ask yourself these questions:
What emotions am I experiencing when I'm in this state? Eg. happy, ashamed.
What thoughts might I have when I'm in this state? Eg. "I'm bad," "I'm ok."
What might my body be doing in this state? Eg. curled up in my bed, open/closed posture.
When I'm in this state, how would I finish the sentence, "The world is _____?" (Eg. closing in on me, exciting, invisible)
When I'm in this state, how would I finish the sentence, "I am _____?" (Eg. unloveable, alone, not good enough, OK, stuck, free)
What physical landscape does this state feel like? (Eg. a cave, a sunny meadow, rapids)
What color does this state feel like?
What is my sleep/eating/substance use like when I'm in this state?
Sympathetic nervous system: Start in the middle of your ladder. Recall a time when you felt mobilized, like there was too much energy pulsing through you. You might feel overwhelmed, scared, worried, anxious. Consider this experience only long enough to let your body taste it enough to begin mapping it.
Dorsal vagal: Now go to the bottom of your ladder. Recall a time you felt disconnected, or a sense of collapse. Your system doesn't have enough energy to function, and might be shutting down. You might feel hopeless, distant, unmotivated, or a lack of interest. "Dip your toe" into this feeling just a bit, and then begin to map it.
Ventral vagal: Now move to the top of your ladder. Remember a time you felt a warm feeling of well-being. Perhaps it was just a moment, or a prolonged experience. The world feels safe enough, you feel ok enough, and are generally safe to connect to yourself and others. Let this feeling fill you now, and begin to map it.
Once you've completed your map, take a step back and take it all in.
Notice in this moment, what state are you in? We ended our exercise with the ventral vagal state (top of the ladder) on purpose - but is your body still in that state?
Perhaps it isn't. Perhaps your system has moved you back into immobilization - you're feeling unmotivated and alone. Or, perhaps you're back in the middle of your map - you're feeling the stress of the day, and your body is pulsing with anxiety or tension. If so, perhaps you can begin to notice what "danger cues" (real or perceived) your system might be responding to.
Wherever you're at, my hope is that you've learned a bit about your own nervous system today in a way that increases curiosity and compassion. Perhaps you move throughout your day with more awareness of the present moment. Let this invite you to respond to your nervous system without judgment. When you're dysregulated (in the middle or bottom of your map), this means your system senses danger of some sort. Perhaps you can be curious about the story your particular nervous system might be telling you, and what it might need in order to safely connect and engage in your world.
If you're considering therapy, feel free to reach out to me or any of the Redeemer counselors through the Redeemer website or by calling 407-405-7677. We would love to see if we might be a good fit for you and your therapy needs.
(Please note that this information is not a substitute for therapy. If this has disrupted you in any way, consider how you might find a safe person or therapist to process this with. Redeemer counselors are available and would be happy to hear from you if you'd like to explore therapy options).
In a documentary series released on May 21, 2021, entitled “The Me You Can’t See,” Oprah Winfrey and Prince Harry interview and have open conversations with athletes and stars like Lady Gaga, Glenn Close, and two NBA players about mental health.
As a part of this documentary, Oprah and Prince Harry also open up about their own mental health and share personal stories
You have thirty days to reply. My heart quickens as I get to the end of a notice from the IRS. I recently finished graduate school without a job offer to my name. Now, a letter arrives informing me that I have been audited. I know that it is impossible that I owe $3000 to the government; however, I also know little about tax documents or how to advocate for myself.
We are so excited to welcome Elizabeth Aulds to our team of counselors at Redeemer Counseling. Elizabeth will be seeing clients at the Lake Nona office. If you're interested in scheduling an appointment with Elizabeth, please contact our office at 407-405-7677.
I was born and raised in San Antonio, Texas. I have been in Florida since 2004, but am still an avid San Antonio Spurs fan! I have a four-year old dog named Ari who keeps me busy going on walks and visiting dog parks. I love spending time with friends engaging in deep conversation or just hanging out playing games, traveling, and spending time hiking in the mountains anytime I get a chance.
When I was in High School, I had an interest in counseling as I had a counselor who helped me through some difficult circumstances. I knew before I began college, I wanted to spend my life helping others. While I was attending The University of Texas at San Antonio, I became involved in a ministry that I soon learned had an outreach to High School students. I felt called at that time to join the staff of that ministry which I did after graduation. I spent 11 years on staff with them and during that time God brought many students my way who were hurting and dealing with some difficult circumstances. I realized if I was going to continue to work with students, I needed to be better equipped. As a result, I pursued my Master’s in counseling and during that time felt led to leave staff with the ministry and start doing counseling as a career.
From the moment a client walks into the counseling room I want them to know that I am excited they have agreed to engage in the counseling process and how I don’t take that decision lightly. I am genuinely interested in them and have a desire to see them thrive. I will not push them beyond where they feel comfortable and will take things at their pace.
I am an absolute coffee lover! However, as I have gotten older, I feel like I am more particular about where my coffee comes from and my current favourites are Dunkin Donuts and WaWa. It has to have a flavoured creamer as well and not that powder stuff. Bring on the International Delight or Coffee Mate. Holiday flavours like Pumpkin Spice and Peppermint Mocha are the best.
We are so excited to welcome Angela Burleigh to our team of counselors at Redeemer Counseling. Angela will be seeing clients at the Downtown office. If you're interested in scheduling an appointment with Angela, please contact our office at 407-405-7677.
I’m originally from Charleston, SC, but have lived in Florida since 2001. I have two kids (4 and 1) and a husband who teaches elementary P.E. I’m introverted, so people tend to see me as quiet, but I do have a witty, playful side that comes out as you get to know me. I also love exploring new places, seeing beautiful sites, learning more about cultures, people’s stories, and what makes them the way they are.
Well, it used to be dogs, hands down. But now, I’d say two kids are enough.
Hmmm…Mexican chocolate from Kelly’s Ice Cream is delightful
Definitely evening over morning. But I’m not a night owl, so I like to just say that I’m a “day person.”
I was a writer and graphic designer for three different missionary agencies. I also got to go on about 20 overseas projects, and lead some summer intern teams to Kenya, Myanmar, and Thailand. It was a lot of fun, but also lonely at times. I was single at the time and always wrestling with wanting to be married but trying to be content where I was.
I love exploring and getting out of the house. My family and I like to go to state parks, the science center, search for fairy doors at Leu Gardens, walk around Lake Eola and Winter Park, play on playgrounds, and anything new that comes up. If I’m by myself, I love to hang out at coffee shops or have heart-to-heart conversations with close friends.
Helping people find freedom from past painful experiences, lies they’ve come to believe, and responses that they feel unable to control. I especially enjoy working with women who are trying to navigate singleness and/or dating, and also those who never feel like they are good enough for God or others in their life. Missionaries are another group I tend to focus on since I worked as one for about 8 years. And I also do marriage/relationship counseling, depression, anxiety, trauma, abuse, and perinatal concerns like adjusting to motherhood, or infertility, miscarriage, and stillbirth.
I remember how long it took me to finally see a counselor myself. It seemed like it must mean something was wrong with me. But now, I don’t think twice if a friend mentions that they are in counseling. In fact, I get excited for them. However, I know that on the other end, it feels pretty massive. And maybe there are people in our life who would ridicule us or say “You don’t need it. You’re fine” if they knew we were considering it. I guess I would just say that it’s one of the best things I ever did myself, and I doubt I would be at peace, or married, or where I’m at today had I not.
Reaching out for help is a sign of great strength and courage. None of us just automatically know how to have healthy relationships, manage anxiety or trauma, figure out how to parent well, or find freedom from brokenness on our own. There’s nothing wrong with you if you could use professional help figuring that out. We’re designed for relationships, and the counseling relationship is a great place to go looking for that healing. And, not all counselors are created equal or fit with every personality, so don’t be afraid to try someone else if the first one you try just doesn’t feel like a good fit.
My journey of becoming a counselor began in High School when I experienced my share of struggles with relationships, family dynamics and depression. After taking an AP Psychology course, I found out how intriguing and freeing it was to understand the relationship between thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. I was hooked right from the start as I was able to gain more insight into myself.
“It’s possible that you have early onset MS,” the nurse stated nonchalantly and walked out of the exam room. Tears welled up in my eyes as the words of a nameless nurse struck terror in my heart. I waited for a doctor who, upon arrival, had no answers, and drove home, alone with my fear. It was in the same season that I started seeing my first counselor. The nurse was wrong; I didn’t have MS. My body had finally reached a point where it could no longer hold the emotions I had desperately tried to keep contained inside me.
The current situation surrounding the COVID-19 pandemic has many people feeling rightfully anxious and concerned. The level of uncertainty about the full impact the coronavirus will have on our families and community contributes to this anxiety. We at Redeemer Counseling want to underscore our commitment, as in any other difficult season of your life, to walk with you during these uncertain times.
Recently I had the opportunity to hear from our newest counselor, Katie Cheatham, about her calling as a counselor and desire to help others heal and grow. Katie sees clients at our new Maitland location, which is located at Maitland Presbyterian Church. To schedule an appointment with Katie, please call our office at 407-405-7677.
