by Lindsey Coates, M.A.
It would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased. –C.S. Lewis in The Weight of Glory
I have never met anyone who did not find C.S. Lewis to be one of the most prolific writers to span generations. Even if you don’t agree with him, he will make you think, laugh, cry, and ponder the very essence of who we are and what we were meant to do, both in this world and in the next. Lewis’ quote comparing us as humans to ignorant children slapping together mud pies is one of my favorites, and it also describes, in a nutshell, my beliefs about counseling. The main reason I am so passionate about what I do is that I have experienced healing and redemption through counseling as well. Like many of my clients, my life has been full of great joy and profound tragedy. While I will never tell someone else I understand what he or she is going through (because I have never been in your shoes and I will not pretend I have), I truly believe that empathy is one of the most important ingredients in the counseling relationship. And it is a relationship. It is an odd one, for sure. Where else do you pour the most intimate details of your life into the hands of someone whom you just met?
This is why Lewis’ words drive home the core of what I believe. We are all capable of living “half-heartedly”, settling for the slums rather than fully recognizing and living into our God-given desires. I am not a woman who has it all figured out–far from it. I am a woman who is passionate about helping people discover what their “mud pies” are, whether they include addiction, sexual brokenness, abusive relationships, broken marriages, or trauma. Once we know where our hurts live, we can begin the process of healing. It takes time. No one becomes whole-hearted over night. But the process is worth the investment of time, resources, energy, and emotions. It gives me no greater joy than to introduce men and women to the freedom of hope. Hope is scary, because it leaves us yearning for more. But, like Lewis wrote so truthfully, we were all created for more.